Life As told by me By: Buffy A Summers
by spuffyloven
Summary: All-Human AU. Set in Sunnydale, Buffy is a geeky girl who finally gets the guy. But, life isn't exactly how either planned it to be. It's much much worse. Rated PG-13 for language and sexual references. Chap 4 UP!
1. Pain Definition of my life

Rated - PG-14 for language and sexual references!  
Ownership: Story - moi!! Ask for permission of useage of characters and storyline. Scooby Charries - Joss and ME, I'm writing this ON MY BIRTHDAY! and they still won't let me get Spike. I mean, I want SPIKE! Please??  
  
Life, As told by Me by Buffy A. Summers  
  
Prologue:  
So, it's hard. Life. I don't know why the 'life' people hate us so much, but they must, because they created this stupid world and actually getting from the point of birth to the point of death, so damn hard. Well, my life has been doubly hard, and I wish I was dead, but unfortunately as I tell this, I still breathe. So it all starts about 5 years ago on a sunny spring day - hold on, wrong story. I must have been remembering the fairy tale kids version, the tale I think up in my head, alone at night. But the truth? My life ain't no kid's story. Really it started like this, ....  
  
It was October 18th, 2000. Exactly 4 years ago, today. The reason as to why I'm writing this book about me, is simply to make everyone remember how life SUCKS and will always SUCK! REMEMBER that, it's the truth. My name is Buffy Anne Summers, in case your wondering, and I was 14 when I was stuck in the rain running through Weatherly Park, at 10:00 at night, and I was late. Again. Third time that week, really. Mom was gonna be pissed, and I was fucked, majorly. As I ran, I tripped, ruined my brand new white peasent top, and my mini skirt, and my hair was beyond recognition. I looked horrible, and as I lay in the muck I bawled. -Stop feeling pity on me, it's only the start. Pity comes when it's needed, this is nothing...- Out of no where this guy comes on his bike, splashes me, and runs over my foot. He stopped came back and smiled. Oh, he had the most beautiful smile, even in the rain.  
  
"Hey, miss," he says, concerned, in the most glorious British accent I've ever heard. I don't really know what type British, it's just European. His eyes were the bluest blue, and he had the most incredible cheek bones I've ever seen. Oh yeah, damn. As I recognise him, he recognises me. Stuffy Buffy, always in the library with Willow and Xander and he's William 'Spike' Giles, the librarian's son, but never caught dead in the library, or any school room that entitled brains or the like. "Oh, hey Buffy. Are you hurt?"  
  
As I stare I noticed he's still smiling, YAHTZEE! I scream in my head, doing Xander's snoopy dance. I've liked him since forever, he's in the biggest rock group in town, hangs with everyone, except the Library Muskateers, as they we're dubbed by Liam 'Angel' O'Brian early on in the year. "H-Hey Spike," I say timidly, my god that boy is hot. "No, I-I'm not, just headed home, and I tripped." I reply sheepishly, mentally kicking myself in the head. Suddenly I remember the shirt I'm wearing is white, and completely soaked. I grabbed my jacket and slipped it on awkwardly. Both my skirt and jacket were faux leather, and kinda stylish, not that Cordelia and the Cordettes would ever notice. I have always wanted to be part of their group, a complete tag-along, but I've accepted long ago, that no, I was not - or ever will be - a Cordette, like Harmony, Anya, and Amy were. Lucky bitches.  
  
"Oh, okay, well, your shoe snapped," he said, pointing to my leather sandels, with a heel, stylish, expensive, and now very brown and ruined.  
  
"Great. Just fricking great," I grumbled, and to my immense horror I sniffled like a 2 year old, and then tears fell, and they wouldn't stop.  
  
Spike sat beside me, in the mud, and put his arm, awkardly on my shoulder. "There, there." He said, sounding so uncomfortable and out-of-place. Without warning I buried my head in his shoulder and just bawled. He actually hugged me then and kept saying, "It'll be okay, it's only a shoe." But he didn't know how much shit I was really in. You see, I have a step-dad, and... he less then finds me his daughter. In fact he wants to send me off to -shudder gasp- military school!! Can you believe it? Me? EWW!  
  
Pulling back, I stood up quickly. "Uhhh... yeah.. umm.. sorry?" I offer, meekly, really really embarressed about ... that. "Just forget that ever happened, and I'll see you later." I say hurriedly, while waving quickly and walking away. And to my secound horror of the past 5 minutes, he follows me.  
  
"Your still wearing your broken shoes, and your limping. Plus you going to get a bloody cold from walking in this weather." He says, stating the blunt obvious.  
  
Turning abruptly, he almost fell off his bike because he was right behind me, I glare at him. "Thank you Mr. high-and-mighty helping those less fortunate then you. But I know that, I already have a cold. I'm 3 hrs late, again, and I need to stop hanging out at that library. I'm cold, I'm wet, and my shirt is very see-through. I've ruined my favourite shoes, and top, and I'm going to be so dead it isn't funny, so can you leave me to die in goddamn peace?" I scream in his face, and he backs away quickly.  
  
"Sorry, miss, just trying to help 'those less fortunate then myself', he says, air quoting it all. Shrugging he takes off again, splashing me, and just smirks back at me.  
  
"GRR!" I screech, turning down Revello Drive, finally standing outside number 1630. Shaking like a leaf, from the cold and my fate, I stumble up the walkway, into the house and immediately catch my step-dad's fist in my face. "OWW!" I yell, tearing up again as I see my mom on the couch, crying, and with two new bruises on her face, and three cuts on her legs. "Sorry mom." I say, as the door closes and I enter another kind of hell. Ted's house. 


	2. Rainbows Come AFTER the Rain

**Chapter 2: Rainbows come AFTER the Rain.**

****

_**Diclaimer and everything on the prologue - Pain. Definition of my Life. **_

****

_The next morning, I woke up to the phone ringing. It was my own phone, because I hated sharing a phone that was in his name. So I chose to purchase my own phone, smart right? Right. Except now Willow calls every morning at precisely 6 am to wake me up. "Grr..." I mumbled sitting up and picking the phone up? "Hello?" I ask the phone receiver, sounding tired and sleepy. _

_"Hey Buffy!" Willow's voice comes loud and perky. Damn morning girls._

_"Hey, Wills, you do realize Ted will have my ass if you keep calling this early EVERY morning. It may be my phone, but their room is only down the hall. And believe me, he has no troubles kicking my ass." I gingerly touch the crusted over blood on my cheek. He had really let me have it last night, thinking I was a whore. Mom tried to contradicte him, saying I was at the library again, so he hit her too. He really doesn't like me, and mom's to scared to leave him. But, getting back to the conversation, I could actually hear Willow wince. _

_"Hold on." She says, as I hear the phone click. More than likely she's calling Xander on the other line, and inviting him for a three-way conversation. Lately, or rather everytime Ted gets in his moods, we have a three-way talk at 6 am, before Ted and Mom wake up. Hearing the click again, Willow says, "Hey Buffy. Xander's here too."_

_Taking his cue, he announced his prescense, "Hey, Buff. Sorry about you-know-who. How bad this time?" he asks, the love and devotion to me shining in his voice. Willow and I are his girls, and so is Dawn, my little sister, to some extent. But he loves me, and Willow loves him, and I love Spike. Also, Dawn loves Xander too, aren't we totally screwed up?_

_"Not that bad, Xand. He cut my lip, and bruised my right eye. Also almost disjointed my left arm, but it's not my right so I can still write. But I'm fine, and so is Dawn, she stayed at Janice's last night." I say, confidently, but wincing at the pain of holding the phone up._

_Willow sighed into the reciever. "Good, but I still don't like you staying there. Today's Friday, so why don't we have a sleepover at my place. Xand you can come too. We'll watch indian videos, talk sex, and eat popcorn. What do you say?"_

_"GET THE FUCK OFF THE PHONE! YOUR GROUNDED YOUNG LADY!" Came Ted's booming voice from outside my door. BANG BANG BANG, Ted's fists on my door. I wince, seeing little splinters fly off, onto my carpet. "Thank god that's not my head." I say into the phone, in a whisper. "Told you he can hear. He's like freaky that way. But, I have to go, talk more at school. Library meet you there." I whispered, even lower, as Willow and Xander say good-bye and I hung up._

_(At School that morning)_

_Walking into the library I notice it's even quieter then usual. The thing about our library is it's part of the computer lab, so Giles runs the library part, and Miss Jenny Calender - Giles' girlfriend, but we're not supposed to know - runs the other half. Usually around this time, there's kids running in and out, trying to get to class and have their homework finished that they didn't do because of a date or a party, but today ... nadda._

_"Giles? Miss Calender? Anyone?" I call, setting my shoulder-bag on the counter and hopping up onto our usual table, sucking on my cherry lollypop. _

_Rupert Giles, the 48 year old librarian, came from behind a stack with his glasses slightly askew, and followed by Miss Calender, she's 35, straightening her dress. "Yes, good, I think that'll work nicely, Jenny." Giles said, blushing furiously._

_I laugh as they both turned 16 shades of red. "I may be 14, but I'm a freshman here and I know these things. Being in grade 10 does not mean I'm stupid you know?" - You may be thinking, She's in grade 10? But yes, I am. I got skipped ahead a year, because in my other school I was top average, then moved here and was skipped to grade 5, but my grades have dropped since starting high school, and Willow's the brainy one. - _

_Giles cleaned his glasses, again, and coughed deeply. Then walking over to Buffy he finally noticed the bruise and cut. "Oh dear. Are you okay, Buffy?" _

_I looked down, but was saved from answering by the arrival of Xander and Willow, followed by ... Spike? "Hey guys! And Spike, fancy actually seeing you in here." I say snarkily to him, still kinda mad that he ran over my foot, and upset over everything that happened last night. _

_Willow ran over and traced the cut lightly with her fingers. Hugging me she sighed, "Oh Buffy. Please say you won't go home tonight." _

_I shook my head, "I'll come over. I already told Mom, and Ted doesn't need to know. Plus, I never pass up a once in a lifetime oppurtunity like talking sex while watching Indian movies." All three of us laughed, and Spike shook his head._

_"Dad, I need your help. I have this project due in a week for History and I can't find anything on the internet about something called the," He looked down at the paper in his hands, "Concordat." He finished, looking at his father pleadingly._

_"I'm busy right now," Giles began and I snickered catching Miss Calender's eye, "But I'm sure Buffy would love to help you," he finished, eyeing me and smirking. _

_"BUT GILES!" I nearly yelled, then seeing his smirk, plastered a fake plastic smile on my face and grumbled all the way up the stairs, Spike following. _

_Getting to the top, he looked slightly uncomfortable, "I don't exactly know what I did wrong last night -" he began, but I cut him off._

_"Nothing. You only ran over my foot. But that's not what pissed me off." I didn't elaborate, and hoped he wouldn't persist in that topic. No such luck._

_"What did then?" He asked, pulling out a few books on the Mi'kmaw natives, and sitting on the floor, leafing through them, well keeping on eye on me._

_Feeling compelled to answer, I sat beside him and started leafing through books too, but not really paying attention. "My step-dad. He hates me, and my little sister, Dawn. Luckily Dawn was at her friend Janice's last night, or he would have -" I cut myself off sniffling again. Seems that's all I did around him, that and yell._

_"Would have what?" He asked, gently, seeming to be really interested as he put his book down. _

_"He would have hit her too. Like he hit me and my mom." I replied, speaking softly and fighting back tears. I pointed to my face, and he realized then why I was all beat up, when I wasn't when he was with me last night._

_"Oh." Was all he said, feeling uncomfortable again, but also sympathetic towards my pain. "Why-why does he do that? Was he drunk or something?"_

_I laughed bitterly, "I only wish he was drunk, then maybe he would have a reason for all those times beating my family. But no, he never touches alcohol, he was just really pissed last night." I looked down, feeling uncomfortable myself, but also like I could say anything right then, and he would understand. "He says I'm a little whore, and that's where I was last night. Whoring." _

_Spike moved closer to me, and put his arm around my shoulder. He's a lot bigger, because he's 16, and a Sophomore. "Buffy, luv, I know what's it like. My real father," I gasped a little, I didn't know Giles was not Spike's dad, "beat me and my mum. Then she got the courage and left, and re-married 2 years later, to my dad." He finished, strongly, and I got a feeling he really loved Giles. "They divorced a year ago, though, but Giles is still my dad." I was actually kind of glad he added that, because I knew Miss Calender was not Spike's mom. "So I kept his last name for my own. Mum and Dad were together for 4 years, and they met when I was 9, even before Alex and Mum broke up. So I always kind of knew Dad, but then I loved him when he helped mum get over that scumbag, and really trust guys again." _

_His story made my own life seem so.... different. My mom was to scared to leave Ted, and my real dad, Hank, was off in Italy with his secretary and I haven't even told him about the beating. "Oh. Wow." I said lamely, thinking of nothing else to say. Smiling at him, I stood up. "Thanks for making me feel a little better. I'll catch you later, good luck with your project." I smiled again, and walked off, stopping at the stacks, I threw the book I was carrying back. "Chapter 57, Page 1026. All about the Concordat." I smirked at him and walked back to join Willow and Xander. "Come on guys, don't want to be late for class. See yah Giles and Miss Calender!" I called, knowing they wouldn't hear me, because they were in the 'office', none of us would actually step into that room anymore._

_Walking out of the library, Willow nudged me, "You were back there an awful long time, Buff." She said, smirking slightly, but for Willow it came out really shy._

_I laughed, "Nothing like that, unfortunately, just talking. And I helped him find some information on the Concordat." I looked innocently around, smiling at Willow and Xander._

_Xander sighed, "So nothing happened right? That's good, Spike's so not right for you, Buffy. He's mean, and cruel, and hangs out with all the wrong people. You can do a lot better." He looked defiant and pleading, really really wanting me to date him._

_"Yes, Xand, nothing happened. Just a little talking, that's all." _

_"Good." He said again, really liking that nothing happened._

_Willow sighed, sadly. It was hard loving a guy that was in love with someone else. "See, Xander, there's still hope yet." She said mockingly, sharing a laugh with me._

_Xander hmmphed, and I hugged him. "Aww, Xander, I'm sorry. I just don't feel that way about you. You know that." I smiled sadly at him, and he hugged me. _

_Sitting at our usual spot in English, at the back, we passed notes all class, mostly talking about Ted and a way to get away from him, because Dawn and me couldn't stay at our friend's house forever, and we also couldn't leave mom with him alone. It was bad enough they were sleeping in the same bed._

_**A/N how are you liking it so far? it's already processed in my head, but the details and making chapters longer is taking me some time to post. So sorry for not posting sooner! Keep R&Ring I would love to know your thoughts! I can't write without a little outside encouragement you know!**_


	3. Tears, Fears, and Men

**Disclaimer/Rating: Prologue!**

**A/N: This chapter is going to skip ahead about 2 weeks, and it's before the spring dance. In the time you didn't read, Spike and Buffy had become shaky friends, who had a shoulder to cry on, and who understood.**

_**Chapter 2: Tears, Fears, and Men**_

_I sighed, again. Right now I was in Science class, the only class I have with the most gorgeous guy on the planet. -You, gentle readers, may be asking yourselves why I have any classes with William, but it's because he's never gone to many classes, so he has a ton of credits to make up. Starting with the ones he missed in freshman year.- He turned around and grinned at me, winking, then turning back quickly like someone would see him winking at me,a Library Musketeer. _

_Groaning again at the idiocy of men, I sat up straighter and smiled at my lab partner, Wills of course. Leaning over I whispered, somewhat angrily. "We're friends, right? I mean, he's been to my house, 'course you-know-who wasn't home, and I've been to his. 'Course I've been there before to visit Giles, but the other day I went there to visit him. So why does he have to keep acting like we're 'secret' friends?" I was whining now, and Willow patted my back sympatheically._

_"Honey, guys are all like that. You've known me for what? 4 years now? And I've been after Xander since grade two, and I still haven't gotten him. Guys are morons." She looked at me, then up at Spike. "Why do you hang around with him, if he does that anyway? Doesn't it hurt?"_

_I sighed, what was it the 15th time that class? "Yeah, like a bitch, but -" Tilting my head up I looked into the very angry eyes of my science teacher, Mr. Budgie. "Hey there, Mr. B, how are you today?"_

_Mr. B smirked at me and Willow, then did the thing we're so used to happening to us, he pointed in the direction of the principal's office. Of course, Willow didn't have to go, she never has to, comes with being the smartest girl in school. Wills grinned sheepishly, and I smirked to her without the teacher seeing, grabbed my books, and walked out of the room. Not before having to pass Spike though. "Psst. Come by later, I have a present for you." he whispered, and I grinned slightly at him, before dissappearing for my fate._

_--After the principal meeting--_

_I walked into the library, surprised to see Spike in there. He hadn't been back since that day with the Concordat. And I was even more surprised to see him and Giles arguing like there was no tomorrow._

_"No! You are not going to that party, you will go to the dance!" Giles yelled, extremely aggravated at his son, for even suggesting to go anywhere but to the dance._

_"If I was in Oregon I could go! There I'd be my own man!" He yelled, his defensives falling short._

_"Your in California! Not Oregon! So your going to the dance, and you'll enjoy it. I spent all that money on the tux, because you said you and Dru were going to the bloody dance, so you will go!"_

_"Dammit, Dad! I told you, Dru wants to go to the party!"_

_Right about then is whenGiles looked over and noticed me. "Oh, Buffy, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you were standing there. Forgive me." Giles said, habitually taking his glasses off and cleaning them._

_"Uh, s-sure, Giles." I say, walking further into the library and shooting Spike a 'Huh?' look. Spike shook his head impreceptively and stormed out of the library. The thing was, I had thought him and Dru were broken up, and today he was going to ask me to the dance. What a present that would have been! "What's up, Giles? You look all... disheveled and stuff." I say, hoping up on the library counter, over it, and onto the library computer. It had the only version of the internet I liked installed, MSN Explorer, everything else was Netscape. _

_"Buffy, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, don't use that computer." He said, walking behind he counter to hover at my side. "And as for what you witnessed, ignore it. William is just being idiotic." He sighed, turning away and walking towards the shelves as Miss Calender walked in. The way his face lit up was so special, I just couldn't stop grinning. They dissappeared into the stacks, murmuring something about a book they needed. _

_"Yeah, the only book you need is the one on safe sex..." I mumbled, shaking my head and laughing. As they leave, Spike walks back in. _

_"Is he gone?" He asks, meaning his father._

_"No, him and Miss Calender went into the stacks to look at 'books'." I respond, waggling my eyebrows suggestively. _

_Spike smirks and hops up beside me, sitting on the counter. "Wannasee that present I got you?" _

_Smiling brightly I nod, "Sure." He turned away and pulled something out of his pocket, then turned back to me with a jewerally case the size of a bracelet. Smiling I take it and open it up, inside is a silver bracelet with diamond studs and the inscription on the middle panel is 'To my Friend.' Of course it's fake, but it's the thought that counts right? The only problem is the inscription. Friend. That's allI was, he didn't even put down 'best', just 'friend'. Smiling hugely, but plasticly, I hug him. "Thanks so much! It's beautiful." Taking it out I put it on and marvel at the glittering it makes under the flourescent lights in the library._

_Spike smirked at me and hopped off the counter. "I was never here." He said, motioning towards the stacks, where a sudden 'OH MY GOD!' shot from. I grinned, and he cringed. "Ever." He repeated, and left._

_Sighing I went back to my email to my father. I wasn't saying anything about the beating, I was telling him about Spike. This is how it went:_

Dear Dadda,

how's italy? sorry it's messy, but i'm standing up in the library, listening to Giles and Miss C doing it in the stacks :P anywayz, i just wanted to tell you about the guy i like. remember him? spike? well, he just gave me a bracelet.

the bracelet's silver and has fake diamond studs in it. kinda cute, and it's inscribed. 'to my friend' (but with caps, daddy) what does that mean? help! and he's always weird around me at school. looking around to make sure no one's watching when he waves or winks at me. and he makes sure i don't tell anyone we see each other. he's a big meanie. but then he gave me the bracelet, even if it doesn't have a 'best'. i'm so confused, please email me soon, daddy.

your angel, and baby girl, Buffy"

_Want to know the worst part of that email? He never emailed me back. He never does, but I still love him, and try to get ahold of him. Maybe if I told him about the beating, he'd come back? Yeah right, sure. Sighing, I turned the computer off and hop back over the counter, heading to detention. I have it afterschool every day this week. Ted'll be ecstatic._

_--Home, after detention--_

_"Oh Buffy!" Dawnie said as she ran into my room, throwing herself around me. Wincing in pain, I gingerly hug her back. "How could someone do this to you? Your perfect!" _

_I smile a little. I should tell you about me and Dawn's relationship. Typical sisters, she has fits and gets her way, I have fits and get a slap. Dawn is more favoured by Ted, but he still hits her when he gets really mad. But, Dawn and me are closer than even me and Willow. She's been through it all, from the first day we met Ted, to today, Dawnie's been with me, and we've banded together. When I first got hit by Ted, Dawnie came into my room. I was 9 and she was 3. She was so scared, and had ended up sleeping with me. That night we vowed to protect each other from the evil Ted monster. Now I protect her, and she protects me in a different way. I'm the guardian angel, and she's just the angel. She's the emotional protection, I'm the physical. _

_"Dawnie, honey, I'm not perfect. Far from it." I cough slightly as I sit up, and move Dawn so she's sitting curled into my side. As an 8 year old she's become more responsible and definately more mature. She's always crying over my wounds, and cursing Ted secretively for hitting me and not her. She wishes to take the pain, even though she can't._

_"Yes you are, you always will be to me." She leaned up and kissed my not-so-bruised cheek. "I love you, my guardian angel."_

_"I love you too, muppet." With that we fall asleep curled around each other like two frightened kittens._

**A/N: How's it going? This chapter was quite longer, and took quite the time for updates. So sorry! But please tell me if it was worth the writing (my muse has left me and I've been sick, and fighting with my computer. So sorry!!) Review and make my muse love me again!**


	4. Daddy gasp help!

**A/N: Sorry for the slow updates... you'd understand if you had my computer :P I'm working on a one shot fic based on the song, 'I'm All About You' by Aaron Carter, and trying to get my brain around an update for Changing, but also want to start a one shot for Anne of Green Gables (my new passion :P) so bare with me k? Also this story is now also posted at 'The Spuffy Realm'!**

**A/N 2: This chapter will introduce her father for the first time, as an actual character, don't expect roses either! And Spuffyiness won't happen for about... 1 or 2 chapters, sorry! **

_**Chapter 3: Daddy... gasp help!**_

_So the dance is over.... damn... Reason I'm saying 'damn' is because the inevitable (as the Almighty Xander calls it) has happened. Spike and Drusilla have gotten back together, and my life is officially over. I mean it too! When /him/ and /her/ showed up together, I ran to the bathroom crying my eyes out, and didn't come out either, til it was getting so late I needed to leave or else be late for my curfew. Willow and Xander consoled me the next day and everything, but I've realized now that thinking I'm anything more than a little girl in Spike's eyes is hopeless._

_Now, I'm in the cafetria all by myself, Willow had 2nd lunch and Xander didn't come today, and guess who comes walking up to my table? ANGEL! Not exactly the person I expected to come walking up to talk to /me/. _

_"What do you want?" I ask crossly, he irritates the hell out of me. _

_"Summers, piss off, I'm here to prepostion you." He says this all so casually the outsider may think we're friends, 'cept for the whole I'm trying not to lash out thing._

_"What do you mean?" _

_"You like, and want, Spike, don't you?" At my scowl he realizes it's true, not like the entire school didn't already know. "Well, Drusilla is MY girl, not his." The way he says it, all icily and dangerous, makes me feel scared and curious. They were supposed to be buddies._

_"So? Still not getting the whole, me thing in all this." _

_"I want Drusilla back. Spike can go the fuck to hell for all I care, but Dru's my girl. If you help me get Dru, I'll help you get bleach blonde and psycho." _

_I laugh, kinda heartily too, but I just couldn't help it. Me, help /him/ with anything? Yeah fucking right! "Umm... let me think this over." I get up and take my tray, dumping the garbage and setting it in the bin. He had followed me the entire time. "No." I say simply, walking out, and to my chagrin he follows me. Asshole. "WHAT!"_

_"Please, Summers? I'll do anything?" he's begging! Angel O'Brian, is begging to me, Buffy Anne Summers. HA! _

_Turning slowly I let a lazy grin cross my face. "Take a hint, bozo, get over yourself and leave me alone." Suddenly my heart skips a beat and I'm sure my entire face has gone white, my body rigid. Dad... is here!_

_Angel looks at me, then follows my unfalteringly gaze. "Who the hell is that, Summers?" But I didn't really hear him, and walked towards the man who had assisted in the creation of me, and who had raised me and Dawn til about 6 years ago. _

_"Dad..." I whisper, it came out rather hoarse and in a voice I didn't really recognize as my own. And before I knew anything we were hugging, embracing each other with the love stolen from us these past years. Slowly moving away from each other, I took his prooffered hand and led him out to the grove behind the school, over by the football field. "This is the only place in school we'd get any privacy." I explained as we sat under the oak tree._

_"What was with the email you sent me the other day, Buffykins? Who's this guy?" Dad always did like to cut to the chase, wasn't much for small talk._

_"Just a guy. He's not important. But what are you doing here?" I ask, still slightly dazed over him being here at all._

_"I wanted to see my little Prin- hold on a moment." He took my arm and lifted the sleeve, revealing a scar from last night's beating. I don't even know what I did that time, Ted must have had a bad day at work or something. "Who did this?"_

_"Umm.. no one, I just..." The look he gave me could cut glass. "Ted.." SLAP DID NOT EXPECT THAT! Standing up quickly I hold my stinging cheek and turn to look at him with a hurt and blank look on my face. "What-?"_

_He cut me off, standing angrily and going to slap me again, I recovered and blocked it. "Don't say your step-father did this to you. He's a good man, and the perfect choice for a secound father to you in my absence. I'm glad your mother remarried him." He was glaring at me, but with such a disgusted look in his eyes, I shrank back. Did I ever tell you that Daddy and Ted were best friends? And pretty much worshipped the other one? Nope? Well... crap._

_"Huh?" I ask stupidly, wanting nothing more than to run and cry. Holding firm I fight back the tears threatening to fall and look at him with a put about air of confidence. "He did so, and he beats little Dawnie, and mom. He's an evil son of a bitch, FATHER!" I say 'father' with the equivelent of the ice in his eyes, in my voice. Sometimes Dad pisses me the hell off. Like when he left, for instance._

_He is fuming now, and slaps me again because I went a little lank for a moment. "He does not beat women and children! Your a filthy little liar, you little slut. I bet some screw ball boyfriend of yours did it, and to cover it all up you made Ted into a monster. I know you, your nothing but a dirty little whore." With that he marched off and as he rounded the corner I curled into a ball and positioned myself in the darkness of the building. _

_"Buffy?"_

_I look up and there's Spike staring down at me with such a look of disgustedness at my father, and anger, and sadness that I burst into another bout of tears. "Oh Spike!" I whimper, hugging my knees to my chest and burying my face in the crevice caused by my upturned legs._

_I can feel him curling himself around me and instinctively I hold onto him, soaking his shirt with my tears. Pulling back a little I look up into his smiling face. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, Spike." Pulling away I sit with my back against the wall and stare into space._

_"S'ok, luv, I seen everything. I know what he said." With that I stood up and stared down at him, angrily, though the angers not really directed at him, but I need a scapegoat here. Dad was probably just shocked by all this, right? Sure, Buffy, sure._

_"What gives /you/ the right to intrude on /my/ moment with /my/ father? Do I intrude on yours?" I glared hard at him, the encounter the other day with him and Giles in the library, completely gone out of my mind. Turning away from him I marched off, stopped by his hand on my arm._

_"Don't walk away, pet. Talk to me." His eyes burned into mine, imploring me to let him in. "Please." The word 'please' comes out so needy, so nervous, my facade almost shatters for a moment. Almost._

_"What the fuck is the point? Your with Queen Dead, Xander is all high and mighty now that you chose her and not me, and my father won't help me when I need it the most. But I suppose you already knew that, your awfully good at /overhearing/ things, aren't you?" I sneer at him, hot fat tears sliding down my face. Wrenching my arm away I continue my pace and as I round the corner I catch a brief glimpse of him standing there, looking very much like someone had just killed his favourite dog, or he'd lost his best friend. To bad I'm not his best friend, huh? Than the latter would have been true. Grinning at the fact that /I/ hurt /him/, I strode off, wiping blindly at the tears staining my face._

_It wouldn't be til that night that I realize how much of a bitch I'd been, and how much losing his friendship would hurt me in the future. Damn..._

**A/N: yeah, I know, I made Hank the bad guy, but I was watching 'Nightmares' last night when I had this sudden desire to turn him into the evil one. Hehehe. So deal and R&R please! Also, Spike and Buffy will get together, I promise! Just give me time to deal with some issues that include being majorly pissed at Buffy and Spike. :P**


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